Your love is gonna drown

Reasons why I bother to archive sad thoughts into a blog:

a) To reflect on the continuity of life. Looking back on old entries, it reminds me the capacity I have to be happy. Looking back on sad entries, it reminds me what has improved.

b) To remind myself (when I'm facing the same saddening emotions), that this is not a new experience; and it too will come to pass sooner or later. 

I think twice about leaving some of these things on my tumblr, because I know some people that I love might get too worried, and or believe that I will be stuck in that same emotional state of the blogpost for a long while. When in fact, life moves on. Every day I still thank God for the people in my life. I have also concluded. Why do people seek and chase happiness? Perhaps being happy is not a given right. What is considered normalcy is a neutrality of feelings; neither happy nor sad. 

My heart has shrunk. It learns from the memory of loss. It learns from the knowledge of resignation. That those pleading tears were not enough to free you from the force that paralysed you at the door. Waiting for you to cover the distance. To let my arms fall awkwardly on the side. We fit strangely these days but I didn't mind. My mother always said, "Don't date a boy that is lazy ... "But of course you have to shed that trait yourself". And if I can't? Stuck with the lazy boys forever. I deserve it.

i don't deserve to be sad at the beginning of a weekend.

funny how i find myself back here again, despite promising that id no longer be updating this space. i think sometimes people (including myself) seek familiarity of the old, to invigorate our living in the present. i've been asking myself this question so many times; am i happy? i know the answer.. like a well oiled machine. mechanized and a professional at convincing my psyche about how i should be feeling. i don't have time for sadness, don't have the energy. does anyone else have that occasional droning hum in their ears? dull, melancholic, static and just... there. if it's possible to translate that sound into an emotion, that's where i am.

studying is so meaningless sometimes, it really is..

how to love someone that is mostly sad and does not seem to recover

This is going to be my last post here ever! I have faith that I can leave this photo here and have it never expire- because our love can potentially be a constant thing until forever.

It gets tiring missing someone, but there's something that cushions this. It is knowing that person's wonderful characteristics, loving him for them and knowing he loves you back immensely.

4 fridays away.. my heart won't be straying anywhere. Belongs to you and only you.

this morning's mission: time to shut down this livejournal!

But I CAN'T BEAR TO

Looking at the photos, our carefree faces, the comments, it makes me so proud of where my friends are today :') In 3-4 years time we're gonna be in the working world. mr chew gossip, tennis, jc days and boyfriends might be behind us. That isn't too far away. But our friendships r 4ever. AWWW.

farewells are never kind
they shrink my heart and insert heavy emoti(c)ons
they exaggerate my sadness
they make us forget.
and when my heart recovers from its long nails
farewell returns to test a different friendship.

I'm really sad. Just came home from sending jess off. And then when I reach home I see the diseased cat downstairs pleading for love and looking really dirty. My heart is brokennnnn and I wanted to cry all over again. If I could I would like to go to the rainbow bridge and befriend all the kittens that never had a chance to be a domestic kitty.

The 3rd time to the airport in this period made me realize
a) I wish i could drive
b) I wish i could have 4 horcruxes to follow ruibee tiff jess and farmer around
c) i REALLY MISS ALL OF YOU :'(



Look at the 3 babies Roxy gave birth to 2 weeks ago. How can such a tiny cat give birth to three such precious thingssssssss <3 <3

 














Found them all off Lolcats. SO CUTE

 why must a person's status be so important? how do you deal with someone's not matching up to your expectations? do emotions like that dangle on the forbidden area of a selfish relationship..

sigh